Friday Funnies

DEFINITIONS FOR PARENTS

AMNESIA: Condition that enables a woman, who has gone through labor, to have sex again.
DUMBWAITER: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.
FAMILY PLANNING: The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the brink of financial disaster.
FULL NAME: What you call your child when you're angry with him.
GRANDPARENTS: The people who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right.
INDEPENDENT: How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.
OW: The first word spoken by children with older siblings.
PRENATAL: When your life was still somewhat your own.
PUDDLE: A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.
SHOW-OFF: A child who is more talented than yours.
STERILIZE: What you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it.
TOP BUNK: Where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies.
VERBAL: Able to whine in words.

(today's funnies found HERE)