Wednesday, September 29, 2010
You Mean I'm Not Normal?
Okay, it doesn't look like my word count has changed at all, but I've actually been working quite steadily all week. I just, uh, switched WIPs for a teeny tiny second :D I couldn't help it. One of my finished novels was screaming at me for another revision and I just couldn't ignore it. But, if all goes well, I'll be finished in another week or two and then it's back to work on the new WIP - I pinky promise :D
In the meantime, I have a question for everyone - do you ever wish you WEREN'T a writer?
I've read enough blogs and talked to enough writers that I think I can safely say that most of us don't really feel a choice in the matter. Oh sure, we might have chosen to try and get published. But many of us were writing long before that decision was made and would continue to write even if publication would never be an option.
So, do you ever wish your crazy Muse had just left you the heck alone?
I had a moment yesterday where I did feel this way. It surprised me, to be honest. I've had stressful moments and moments where I've literally been in tears for some reason or the other. But I've never really wished things were any different than they were.
But for a split second, I thought "It would be nice if I wasn't a writer." My house would be clean. I'd spend more time with my kids. My spare moments would be spent relaxing, my nights wouldn't be filled with sleepless hours while my crazy brain spun out a million ideas. I'd just be a normal mom.
LOL It was also the first time I realized I truly don't consider myself "normal." Oh, I've joked about it before. But to really, truly, deep down to the marrow of my soul think I was NOT normal. I think this was the first time.
I have friends who are normal. Their houses are clean, their laundry is always done, their kids never watch more than an hour of t.v. a day, and I'm not positive, but I'm pretty sure their minds are occasionally quiet enough for them to just BE. They live life without feeling the compulsion to write about it. They see the dishes as a chore, not a brainstorming session. I see people like this every day and it's a weird concept. Like the idea of a billion dollars. I know that much money exists. But I've never seen it. It's hard to fathom. Being "normal" is hard to fathom.
My moment passed very quickly (shoved away by my MC demanding that I sit and work on her story some more, which I was literally giddy to do). I really wouldn't want to be anything else. I love being a writer. Every crazy, roller coaster second of it. But every now and then.....yeah.....
Do you ever have a "what if" moment?