Wednesday, September 29, 2010

You Mean I'm Not Normal?

Okay, it doesn't look like my word count has changed at all, but I've actually been working quite steadily all week. I just, uh, switched WIPs for a teeny tiny second :D I couldn't help it. One of my finished novels was screaming at me for another revision and I just couldn't ignore it. But, if all goes well, I'll be finished in another week or two and then it's back to work on the new WIP - I pinky promise :D

In the meantime, I have a question for everyone - do you ever wish you WEREN'T a writer?

I've read enough blogs and talked to enough writers that I think I can safely say that most of us don't really feel a choice in the matter. Oh sure, we might have chosen to try and get published. But many of us were writing long before that decision was made and would continue to write even if publication would never be an option.

So, do you ever wish your crazy Muse had just left you the heck alone?

I had a moment yesterday where I did feel this way. It surprised me, to be honest. I've had stressful moments and moments where I've literally been in tears for some reason or the other. But I've never really wished things were any different than they were.

But for a split second, I thought "It would be nice if I wasn't a writer." My house would be clean. I'd spend more time with my kids. My spare moments would be spent relaxing, my nights wouldn't be filled with sleepless hours while my crazy brain spun out a million ideas. I'd just be a normal mom.

LOL It was also the first time I realized I truly don't consider myself "normal." Oh, I've joked about it before. But to really, truly, deep down to the marrow of my soul think I was NOT normal. I think this was the first time.

I have friends who are normal. Their houses are clean, their laundry is always done, their kids never watch more than an hour of t.v. a day, and I'm not positive, but I'm pretty sure their minds are occasionally quiet enough for them to just BE. They live life without feeling the compulsion to write about it. They see the dishes as a chore, not a brainstorming session. I see people like this every day and it's a weird concept. Like the idea of a billion dollars. I know that much money exists. But I've never seen it. It's hard to fathom. Being "normal" is hard to fathom.

My moment passed very quickly (shoved away by my MC demanding that I sit and work on her story some more, which I was literally giddy to do). I really wouldn't want to be anything else. I love being a writer. Every crazy, roller coaster second of it. But every now and then.....yeah.....

Do you ever have a "what if" moment?


Lisa Amowitz said...

Uh--yeah--but, I'm pretty used to being *not normal*. For one thing I was born an artist! That planted a crazy engine in my brain from the start. But what I think makes me REALLY not normal is that about five, years ago, though I always wrote and tied my art to some form of writing, I transitioned heavily into YA writing. And sort of not normal went to REALLY not normal. But, I love it. When you're writer, you're never really alone--you have your characters crowding into your head all day long! Okay, when non-writers talk to you about writing (not publishing which they grasp) they quickly realize what a kook is in their midst--even artists!

The Golden Eagle said...

I know I do. I spend a lot of time at the computer to write (and blog). I could be spending that time doing something else, like devoting it to reading, or practicing my instruments, or doing art-related things, or, yes, even cleaning, but I don't intend to stop writing anytime soon. :)

Simon C. Larter said...

*I* don't have what if moments, but I'm pretty sure my wife does. Good thing I can buy myself time to write by doing things about the house. (Right. Kitchen's clean. That buys me a half-hour. Laundry started, that's a good 45 minutes....)

Stina Lindenblatt said...

LOL. So I'm not the only one who brainstorms while washing the dishes. Whew!

Yesterday, I spent my day watching a teen move (research), reading The DUFF (studying), and working on my outlining (homework). I couldn't imagine doing anything else. Oh, I did iron my husband's shirt while doing research. ;)

I hope the muse never gets bored of me. I couldn't imagine not spending my day writing or doing the activities writers are required to do.

Fortunately, I have a very understanding husband. He doesn't see me watching movies and reading novels a complete waste of time. He understands their importance. (At least he seems to.)

Christine Fonseca said...

Dude, I can't imagine being any different. I can honstly say, even with the hard stuff we go through...I wouldn't change a moment (even if I could)

Liza said...

Hmmm, I'm not sure your friends are the normal ones.

Corey Schwartz said...

Great post. I don't think I've ever wished it. I know there are moms at my kids school who give me funny looks because they see me at drop off (and pick up) in my pajamas with no make up on. But I feel like that makes me more "interesting".

C. N. Nevets said...

Long time ago this happened to me, and I did give it up for a few years, and very slowly worked my way back in. When I came back it was on my own terms, not the terms of any drive or compulsion or muse.

Misha said...

I love this post,

But darling, we're writers. I don't think we're supposed to be normal.

I've been hit by the wish to not be a writer too. It usually happens when my muse drops me into the doldrums or when I can see that people I interact with don't understand me.

Yes, writers must be understood, but there's something about our words being written that make us more accessible to uhm... normal people. Perhaps it's because they can reread it.


Kay said...

I don't think normal exists... in fact, I've never even considered that it's NOT normal to write!

What's the norm for one, not quite so for another and on and on...

I've always written (starting at 8 anyway) and will forever find the solace in it. everyone has a crazy, busy mind (some excercise, some clean, some eat, some drink) I like my escape.

Words are beautiful. Thought is grand. Would be nice to master placing them all out correctly though! haha

Your abnormalty, I am sure, many envy.

paulgreci said...

I think I go thru a range of emotions quite often, and that range involves all kinds of future and past thinking, but I keep coming back to the writing.
Thanks, Michelle!

Stephanie McGee said...

I used to have a lot of them, but not so much any more. Mostly the "what ifs" relate to creating scenarios for characters. (Or for my daydreams of where my life will take me.)

And being normal is vastly overrated.

Cinette said...

I've always known I wasn't normal. I prefered to be by myself as a child, writing in my Smurf notebook, creating my own worlds in the dirt in my mother's garden, hiding in the trees making people out of mud. As a teenager, of course I wished I was normal so that I could fit in better, but my fantasy worlds needed constant attention;-)

Matthew Rush said...

Well I haven't been doing this "officially" long enough to really think about it that much. Mainly I wish I was an author AND a writer.

But I also have been other things. I've done a lot of different stuff in my life some of it that was great, some not so much.

I think I'll stick with writing. For now at least.