Friday, August 20, 2010

Friday Funnies



Best Newspaper Headlines of 1998

1. Include Your Children When Baking Cookies
2. Something Went Wrong in Jet crash, Experts Say
3. Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
4. Drunks Get Nine Months in Violin Case
5. Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
6. Is There a Ring of Debris Around Uranus?
7. Would-be Women Priests Appeal to Pope
8. Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
9. British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands
10. Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
11. Clinton Wins Budget; More Lies Ahead
12. Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told
13. Miners Refuse to Work After Death
14. Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
15. Stolen Painting Found By Tree
16. Two Sisters Reunited After 18 Years in Checkout Line
17. War Dims Hope for Peace
18. If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While
19. Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
20. Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge
21. New Study of Obesity Looks for Large Test Group
22. Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Space
23. Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
24. Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
25. Typhoon Rips through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead


A linguistics professor was lecturing to his English class one day. "In English," he said, "a double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative."

A voice from the back of the room piped up, "Yeah, right.

 

11 comments:

lbdiamond said...

ROTFL!

"Yeah, right!" Love that one!

Matthew Rush said...

Great stuff Michelle! I especially like the wonderful example of sarcasm in the English language. Thanks!

Today's guest blogger is Renae Mercado!

Carolyn V. said...

LOL! Love the Yeah, right! Hee hee.

Stephanie McGee said...

I love that linguistics class one. LOL.

And the animal funnies, of course. (Because, really, who wouldn't?)

Tere Kirkland said...

Yeah, right. Apparently the prof forgot about the joys of sarcasm in the English Language. ;)

Franklin Beaumont said...

Hi Michelle. A funny or two is just what I need on a Friday. I especially like that pie chart - I'm very much a night-before person.

L. E. Neighbour said...

I LOLd xD

Solvang Sherrie said...

Omigosh those headlines are hilarious!!

Caledonia Lass said...

Yeah, right. ::Snorts:: I love it. Sounds like something I would have done!
I have missed your funnies, having been offline for awhile. I am glad to catch up again because I love these!!

Indigo said...

I don't know why but the typoon in the cementary, had me laughing so hard. Thanks for the smiles. (Hugs)Indigo

Jan Markley said...

They almost make it too easy with those headlines. Cats will get you every time on the treat negotiations!