Thursday, June 25, 2009

Teaser Thursday

Okay, since this book is one chapter from being finished (with an interested agent :D), I thought I'd post a little teaser. :) This is a bit from chapter 16. My MC is a 17 yr old girl named Kesi Alexander. (thanks BJ!!) :D

The second Gerry rang the bell, we both started circling each other, crazy, anticipatory grins on our faces, hideously distorted as they were by our mouth guards. Gerry stood on one side of the ring, shouting encouragement, while Rachel’s coach did the same on the other side. Rachel’s mother had come and was watching with that slightly pained expression that mothers often get when their children are about to do something that is probably going to end badly. I was glad Netty wasn’t there.

Then Rachel threw a punch that connected to my chin and I narrowed my focus to her. She got in a few more good jabs, but I barely felt them. My blows glanced off her but seemed to be affecting her more. I smiled, grinding my mouth guard between my teeth. I had her; I knew it. I was going to knock her out before our first round was over.

We circled each other a few times, each fending off minor hits. Then my chance came. She dropped her hands, just a little, but it was enough. I aimed a low punch with my left hand and as she tucked to protect her ribs, I let my right fist fly.
My glove connected to her face. Her head whipped around with sickening crack. I saw her eyes for a split second. She looked...surprised. And then she went down. She didn’t move again.

Gerry went nuts. He jumped in the ring, picked me up, and swung me around. “I knew you could do it, I knew you could!”

But I just shook my head, murmuring, “No, no, no, no,” over and over. I couldn’t take my eyes off Rachel. She lay motionless in the ring, her coach frantically trying to revive her. Gerry saw what was going on and stopped celebrating. He put me down and rushed to her side.

Rachel’s coach looked up and stared at me, his eyes horrified and accusing. Her mother was shrieking into the cell phone on her ear. I couldn’t move, couldn’t even blink. I just stared at the girl on the ground while the sound of ambulance sirens filled my head. What had I done?


Eric said...

Holy Cow! If this is a teaser of things to come, I can hardly wait until you get it finished. I was drawn in from the beginning and I couldn't stop reading. The pace was just right, and despite my dislike of first person, I found this to be really well written. Good job.

Tess said...

well done! I figured out what was happening in the scene without you ever telling me it was a fight (was this like a cage fight??) anyway, it was cool and left me very worried about the girl on the floor (which, of course, makes me turn the page) :)

B.J. Anderson said...

Oh wow! This is really cool! I want to know if the main character fighting the girl was a girl or a boy. I was hooked from the get go.

christinefonseca said...

Really great Michelle - can't wait to read this!!!

Kristal Shaff said...

Great Job!

sam said...

Hi Michelle! I'm preparing a showcase of modern sonnets over at, and was wondering if you'd give me permission to use the sonnet you posted some weeks ago, For my Daughter.

Alternatively, if you'd like me to include other sonnets you've written, feel free to send them over using the contact form at the above URL.

Thanks, and it would be great if you could reply by 2 July!

Jessica said...

That was really, really good! No wonder you have an interested agent. *grin*

Thanks so much! I think you did a great job and it's super well-written, like Eric said.