Friday, July 24, 2009

Friday Funnies

Here are a few funnies and silly kitty pictures to help you get your weekend groove on! Happy Friday!!
In some parts of the city curiosity didn't just kill the cat, it threw it in the river with lead weights tied to it's feet.
~Terry Pratchett~

Its skin is rare and highly valued, especially by the vermin itself; the selfish little bastard will do anything rather than let go of it.
~Terry Pratchett~

I've regretted many things in my life, I doubt that one more will make all that much difference.
~David Eddings~

Definitions of words by gender...

THINGY (thing-ee) n.
Female: Any part under a car's hood.
Male: The strap fastener on a woman's bra.

VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female: Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
Male: Playing football without a helmet.

COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
Female: The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
Male: Scratching out a note before suddenly taking off for a weekend with the boys.

BUTT (but) n
Female: The body part that every item of clothing manufactured makes "look bigger."
Male: What you slap when someone's scored a touchdown, homerun, or goal. Also good for mooning.

COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n.
Female: A desire to get married and raise a family.
Male: Not trying to pick up other women while out with one's girlfriend.

ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
Female: A good movie, concert, play or book.
Male: Anything that can be done while drinking.

FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
Female: An embarrassing by-product of digestion.
Male: An endless source of entertainment, self-expression and male bonding.

MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
Female: The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.
Male: Call it whatever you want just as long as we end up in bed.

REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
Female: A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male: A device for scanning through all 75 channels every 2&1/2 min.



Katie Salidas said...

Thanks for that. I needed a good laugh.

Corey Schwartz said...

Ha! Ha! Those were very cute.

Eric said...

Hilarious. I especially liked the last cat. Thanks for the laughs.

Anonymous said...

Great pics! Crazy cat. That put a smile on my face. Thanks for your comment on my blog. And yes, who knows we may be related down the line ;) Wendy Morrell.